You are what you eat, so I don't eat sluts

The catch phrase 'Eat Good Food' is greatly ignored by many of the 8 million living in New York City. Those who stuff their faces with greasy, foul meat and cholesterol-ridden everything else, either don't realize they are in the foody 'France' of America or just can't afford to eat good food (sorry poor guys, you're victims of capitalism, but if you rise up and start giving a shit, maybe you'll get a little respect, but until then, no sympathy). When New Yorkers eat out, it don't mean what your dirty brains are thinkin' it means. The mandatory culinary experience at Nobu, Mesa Grill and Balthazar's is the right of passage to all NYC newbies.

Breakfast at Kitchenette. Do it, now (if it's morning and you're reading). Avoid the downtown location, the waitresses are bitches - yes, all of them. Support the gentrification of Harlem, visit the uptown location at Amsterdam and 123rd street. Do not get sucked in to buying a 35 dollar pumpkin pie, not worth it, but the huevos rancheros are.

Brunch at Pastis is exquisite. I loved it not only for the anise-herbed omelet but that it is located on little west 12th street. Anything 'little' is close to my heart as I have been little my whole life and identify with all things little; Pete Seegr's Little Boxes, Little Women (the book, not small human ladies), cats named Little Guy. The food is expensive, but if you can expense it, GO EAT NOW!

Get the best-deal-in-the-city fajita at Bistro New York (on Lex btwn 41st - 40th) in midtown. Almost every 3rd day for like 2 months I ate this all-you-can-put-in-the-wrap-toppings fajita. For $6.99 (and a free soda), the toppings are insane, and you just point and they put them in. The guys who make it shake their heads while closing the tortilla because it's so damn full of stuff. I know they're imagining all 110 lbs of me trying to eat this 5 lb fajita. They're thinking in Spanish "This little Chiquita is going to eat all this by herself? Ha, no way homes." But they have no idea...


Dinner. Two words. Wild Ginger. Atmosphere: romantic, dark, plants, warm, amazing. Price: cheap, can get a bottle of nice Australian Shiraz for 19 bucks. Waiters: don't seem to understand what you say, but let you stay as long as you want and always bring the right meals, so must understand a bit. Location: west village, can go to Magnolia for dessert.

Enjoy.